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Its Got to Hurt a Little

December 13, 2019

The person who came up with the phrase, “No Pain, No Gain” was saying that to get to where you want to go, its going to hurt a little to get there.

No one really knows who said it originally. Hesperides in 752 said

If little labour, little are our gains: Man’s fate is according to his pains.

Some people say that it was Benjamin Franklin who said that

There are no gains, without pains.

I guess it does not matter who said it first, but it is so true that to have gains in any part of your life, there will be some sort of pain. It can mean costing you money, it can mean physical pain, it can mean phychological pain.

As a 50 year old who has gone through some pains in my life I can tell you the phrase, “No Pain, No Gain” holds true. Even today I know that to get to the next level, it will only be through pain. Some sort of pain.

I see so many younger people who want to get to “Millionaire Status” but do not want to have to do anything to get there. They think that they work hard and they should have everything that they want. I am sorry to let those folks down, Spoiler Alert, IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY.

I so wish that I could tell you that if you are a “Good Person” everything in life will work out. Whether you are a good person or a not so good person, you still have to put in the time, effort and/or energy to get to where you want to go. Putting in this effort will bring some pain along the way.

This past weekend I rode in a 100 mile bicycle ride down in the Rio Grande Valley. I finished the ride in about 7 hours total including rest stops along the way. It was not a bad time. Actual moving time I was at about 16 miles per hour. That is a pretty respectable speed.

I even noted to my wife that I was not really that tired at the end. My legs were tired, but not like some of the earlier rides that I have done years before. My legs did not cramp up during the ride. I did not eat all kinds of snacks or GU along the way. It kinda got me thinking. Was I really getting that good? No, I am not!!

To be able to ride 100 miles is something, but to not be hurting afterwards was something else. Or so I thought.

You know me, I have to analyze everything for hours. I have to see the ins and outs of a deal. I have to know every angle.

What I realized after racking my brain so much is that I have not pushed myself to get faster. I was telling my wife that I felt pretty good after the ride. That was the first tell tale sign. You normally dont feel good after riding 100 miles.

I got used to riding 40 miles, 60 miles and even 100 miles. So what does that mean if there is no pain. Unfortunately, there will be no gain. In my case, no gain in speed.

I did my first 100 miler 4 or 5 years ago at the Fiesta WildFlower ride here in San Antonio. Looking back, my speed is about 1 mph faster now. Not a great increase. At least, it is not where I want to be. I actually want to be at about 20mph. But I can not seem to get there.

Most of my rides are pretty casual these days. Nothing too strenuous or difficult. But that is the problem. There is no pain. How am I going to get faster if I dont push myself. There has to be the pain to get the gain.

I have decided that not only will I do the casual 30 or 40 miles rides, I have to do some that really challenge me. I have got to really sweat on some of these rides. On some I should be pretty spent by the end of the ride. This is how I am going to get faster.

The harder rides with people who are riding faster than me is how I will get faster. Not all my rides of course, but there has to be some challenge to some of the rides.

That is kinda easy to understand. Practice harder, ride faster, push yourself and you will get better and faster. Makes plenty of sense.

Before putting my point into real estate terms, I think this same situation is relatable in relationships, children, body building in addition to real estate.

Relationships

I was single for about 10 years in between marriages. It was not always fun being single. And after a while I decided that I wanted to be married again. I was not getting any younger and I needed someone with me to grow old with.

So what was the pain in finding a mate? AND more important what was the gain going to be??

The pain was going on dates. I hated meeting new people. You have to put on a good face. You have to ask a million questions to see if the person is compatible with your personality.

After talking for a few days or weeks sometimes a few months you realize that even though you put all this energy into getting to know this person, she was not for you. Talk about wasted energy. You feel like a quitter. I am not a quitter, but I didnt want to spend any more time with someone who was not going to be my forever partner either.

So after lots of painful meetings, I met my wife. We spent lots of time talking about what was important to each other. Goals, family life, values, thoughts on all kinds of things seemed to match up pretty good. Not perfect, but more aligned than with most others.

We even both liked to put Fritos on our sandwiches. How was that NOT a match made in heaven?? It was so much pain for me to find the right person. But the gain was well worth it. We have been together for 10 years and there is no end in sight. Lots of pain for me was lots of gain by finding the right partner.

We help each other in so many ways. I can not imagine living without her. I can only say that I would not be where I am today without her.

Children

NO ONE ever said raising children was easy. But some people seem to do it with relative ease. It was definitely lots of pain on my part. By no means am I saying that I am a super parent or that I was better than anyone else in raising children. I never received the parent of the year award, nor will I.

I must say that I tried to challenge my children on many different levels. They were never lead to believe that I was going to be around forever and they were going to have to take care of themselves. Dad was here now, but maybe not tomorrow. And then what was going to happen to them if I wasnt here??

It is a pain in the a$$ to try to teach a 12 or 13 year old to wash their own clothes. They will first tell you that they don’t know how. Of course, that is why I am showing you. Lots of frustration or pain on your part, but when they know how to wash clothes, BLISS. One child will wash the other childs clothes. Maybe you can even get them to wash everyone’s clothes!!!

Same type of situation with trying to teach a 14 or 15 year old to cook. NOT FUN. Lots of pain. The gain for me was that they were always able to cook for themselves. I love to cook so it was not too big of a deal. BUT if I was not home or running late, I could always get them to start dinner.

Once the kids were in their late teens, they never asked me to pick up McDonalds or Pizza for them since I was out. They knew there was food at home for them to cook.

Body Building

I remember hearing Jane Fonda saying, “No Pain, No Gain”. All those aerobic workout videos of the early 80s. She would also mention that you should also feel the burn. The whole premise was that if it was burning, you were building muscles.

It is also the same in building a real estate portfolio or just building your net worth. The pain is a little different though. The pain is actually not pain at all. It is more of a lack of bliss that you feel when you are not able to do those things that you like to do.

Some people call it depriving yourself. Some people see it as feeling the burn. What pain do you have to endure to build your net worth? What pain do you have to suffer to become a real estate investor?

It is not so much of a pain as it is keeping in check what you are doing to get to where you want to go. It is also staying consistent in what you are doing to build that net worth.

I must say that if you cut out a few Starbucks trips, that is NOT what is going to make you a millionaire. The same if you eat at home more often you will not be out of debt this year.

Did you know for some people it is a true pain to make coffee at home instead of standing in line at the drive through? How about cooking a meal? You have to go to the grocery store, buy the food, cook it and then clean up after yourself. What a pain.

Remember, no pain, no gain.

The point is not that you pay $3.00 for a cup of Starbucks and you can easily make it at home for about .25c. The point is that if you want to make some headway into building your net worth, you are going to have to experience some pain, like making your own coffee. The more pain in your life, the more or bigger your net worth is going to be AND quicker.

Let’s face it, life in America is pretty damn easy. It is easy to go through life working several dull jobs and get to social security at 65ish and retire.

OR You can choose some pain along the way AND have a million dollar portfolio of stocks or real estate or maybe both.

It all depends if you think the pain is too great to accomplish your dreams. Some people think that making the coffee at home is too big of a deal. Lots of people are sucked into the Consumerism that pervades America. They say that it will not make a big enough difference in their life. I guarantee if you stop Starbucks right now AND do nothing else, it will NOT make you a millionaire.

You can save 90% on your coffee drinking by making it at home, save $500 to $1,000 a month by eating at home, save $1,000s a year by driving an older car longer, and on and on. Doing a few of these things will save you money over the years. Doing a bunch of these things and more will get you to be able to live on $40k or $50k per year VERY comfortably and still have money for investments. How much are you willing to feel the burn??

The other component is income which we will talk about at a later time.

Let me know some things in the comments section that you do to feel the burn. What is a pain for you that you know will help you long term??