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Valentine’s Day

published February 14, 2019

Happy Valentines Day to everyone. It is a time for love and spending lots of money on the one you love, right? NO. I have been married for almost 9 years (second marriage). We know that we love each other and we do not have to show it only on February 14th.

Everyone says that it is a symbolic gesture of the love you have for one another. BS. It is a marketing ploy to get everyone to spend lots of money at a slow time of the year. Coming off of Christmas, people tend not to spend much in January as they get over their Christmas spending hangover.

I may sound cynical or heartless or even scroogish, but I am not. I am a realist who tries to show his love for his wife not on one day out of the year, but everyday. Thats why we dont spend crazy money on presents.

There are many theories about how Valentines day came about. One thing I know is that people spend tons of money on the 14th. I see people spend $100 for some flowers. $40 or $50 for candy. Dinner for $100+. All I ask is that you think about what you are doing before you do it.

Does your spouse have to get a dozen roses for $125 or $150 delivered to work so that all his/her friends can get jealous?? Do you really have to go to the steak house and spend over $200 for dinner??

Saturday before Valentines day I made a nice steak dinner for my wife. I know, you are probably thinking what a cheapskate. But that is what she really loves. So I did it for her. I cooked us T-bone steaks, seasoned just the way she likes it. As a side we have some shells and cheese, again this is what she likes.

Lately we have not been eating as much red meat because I am a Fatty. Getting older and trying to watch our weight a little, we tend to each more chicken and a little pork. I know that my wife is a steak-a-holic though and she can devour a steak.

For my wife this was just about the perfect dinner that she can imagine. I showed her my love with something that she truly appreciated. The next morning she bought me some Mexican style barbacoa. I love the stuff. It was a nice surprise from the always loved bacon and eggs and biscuit that she usually makes on Sunday mornings.

Barbacoa is kinda high in fat, cholesterol and is really just not healthy eating, but tasted great. We have stayed away from it for some time now. I used to miss it because it was a Sunday thing. After a while, I did not even think about it. But when I saw her heating it up, wow, a nice little guilty pleasure. I can handle one fatty high cholesterol meal. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.

Wow we showed each other how much we care for one another without spending hundreds of dollars. We spent no extra money and we were as happy as can be. How can that be?? All the TV commercials say that you have to show it by spending lots of money.

If you were getting engaged or married you would have to spend 2 months salary on the ring if you listen to the marketing from DeBeers. They want to almost shame you into spending more. “Isnt two months salary a small price to pay for something that will last forever”. “Isnt she worth it?” How dare you DeBeers. Thats not the way you should show your love.

I am sorry but no one will threaten or shame me into doing something. My wife and I have discussed this on many an occasion. It is kinda the same with birthdays and Christmas. We dont really spend money on big presents. We know we are there for each other. Security in our relationship is what is important and we have it so we dont need to spend lots of money to try to prove it to each other.

Early in the relationship we did spend some money on some big presents for valentines day, birthdays and Christmas. I never felt that she loved me more because she bought me an expensive present. There has always been more appreciation when my wife was thoughtful about the present and NOT the price.

I spent plenty of money on her presents too. After a while I asked her, “What if I didnt have the money to spend on a fancy present for you?” She said that it didnt matter. The love we had for each other was enough.

Well that did it. I asked her if it would be ok if we did not spend so much money on presents and focus on our investments instead. I told her that I would rather spend money to put in some new tile in our house (the old one) or we could save up and redo our kitchen, which we did.

We have NOT spent big money on presents for each other ever since. I love her just the same and she knows it. The same is true for family. We should be there for each other throughout the year and not just on 1 or 2 or 3 days of the year.

Love your spouse or special someone with all your might. It does not mean that you have to show your love with your wallet. I hope that you did something special with and for your loved one and not something stupidly expensive. When you do something expensive it just means that you dont care for them as much in the long term.

Be there for each other. Listen to each other. Help each other with your problems. When your partner says, “I hate when you do this”, try not to do it. Be someone your partner can count on.

Communication is key when being a little more frugal. If you always get your special friend a dozen roses, dont stop doing it and piss them off. Maybe talk with them before the next birthday and come to an agreement. Let them know that you care for them just the same, but spending money does not prove your love.

Again, Happy Valentines Day